Big Brother 8 Daniele Donato Live Journal: Jan 2003 - Jun 2003

My grandpa is a wonderful guy. This morning my grandma was being the biggest jerkoff ever. So I called my grandpa crying because I didnt know what to do. He missed work and picked me up and we played hooky together.

-Went to Breakfast
-Went shopping
-Went to Huntington Beach
-Went to Seal Beach
-Drove Around a long time

It was so nice. Looking off the peer onto the water gives you so much to think about. I love my grandpa so much. Him and Joey are the only people who mean anything to me anymore.

I hate my life so much! It only ever gets worse. I can never talk about it to anyone, so I just hav to keep it all in. Do you have any idea what its like to fake a smile everyday.. it gets old fast. Why can't I be happy?

Why do I always take picture when I'm sad?

So yeah...

I'm in need of a drastic change. lol I want to chop all my hair off and dye/bleach the crap out of it. I'm just looking for that PERFECT hair cut. So..
If anyone has any cute pictures of cute Mod/Emo/Indie styles send me my way. It would be greatly appreciated! Thanx ever so much xxx

Finals can rot in Hell. Until then.. Pictures?
On the Freeway



Yours truely... <3

My Troll's Trip to Chuck E. Cheese's


Now back to studying...

So kids, here is a picture of how I am soon to cut my hair...


I'm thinking of going bleach blonde and black underneath. but im scared my hair will all fall out. We'll see. But don't ask me when.. Im not sure. Soon I hope but it just depends on when I go see my mom (i get my hair done up there) :D

Dani hardly writes in her LJ anymore she thinks pictures are just more fun. They express more she says.

dani says.. Step this way kids. A Psycho taking pictures how

dani enjoys to be weird when nobody's looking...

She tends to think she's one hip chick.

Too kool for skool she says she is

Yet really she's just a spaz.

------------;;;-------------;;;---------------->
-Chemistry is the effing worst/hardest class ever!!! in the universe.

-Diet much?

-"Dead Leaves and the dirty ground when you're not around"
theres only 1 good white stripes song.

-I'm sick of being sick. I just want to be better. :/

</3 </3 </3 -Tired of everything. I want to fall into a deep slumber to never see the daylight again. -Any new bands I should know about? I need new bands. -84 days of skool left. -HOw long has it been since I listened to this cd? -I ate oatmeal for dinner. It used to make me barf. -Happy Sad, Happy Sad, Emotions keep tipping back and forth, I dont think its healthy for a gurl like me. -Need to write a poem for English [Coming Soon] -End

the first time.. in.. maybe 8 months she told me she loves me?
-I miss it.

write a poem for English?

Grandpa

I used to walk out of my bedroom and I'd see you sitting there all by yourself,
You'd have a blank look on your face as you'd stare at the clouds go by.
You'd just sit there like you weren't even alive.
You'd look so lost, and you'd seem so alone.
I wanted to be there for you, I really did,
But you couldn't even finish a simple sentence when talking to me.
You couldn't remember what happened from one minute to the next,
But I was well aware that you truly were trying your best.
Of all people, why did this disease choose you?
As our minds go forward, yours only turns back.
Since I was little, most of your attention was focused on me,
Now you can't even keep your eyes focused, let alone recognize me.
You used to be so strong and lively,
Now all that's left is skin on bone.
I'll never forget the heartache, watching you slowly wither away.
The last time I saw you will be the last time indeed.
From now on, Grandpa, you wont know me.

Tomorrow = Melee, Hello Goodbye, Dont Look Down.
I want to pet a white tiger. o0 la la.

I miss __________
Mary
Katie Jo
Lindsey
(enter your name here)

I think I'm gonna get my hair done the weekend of the 14th.
How exciting, I cant wait. I feel like a peasant girl with my hair lately. oi oi oi

80 on chem quiz?! Hell yeah thats like a 900% lol

Somebody teach me how to draw. I can never do it -Well enough-

Bored. I'm so busy all the time now. :( Never have time for the important things in life such as posting in my LJ.

favorite Journals to read = keara507 and marysux.
plugged nose.
chemistry sux.
I like cookies.

I can't wait till Friday...

Dani + JOey = 1 year on Friday.

Happy Valentine's Day to every hott Live JOurnal user.

4 day weekend? Heck yeah! Skip skool again? doi. dani's too kool for skool.

It rained for 2 dsays straight! Fun without Sun.

Ok I'm out. I need to take lots O pictures reel soon. ooo yeah

Chain Reaction
Sunday
March 9, 2003 PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES

HOLY EFFING HELL!!!

If i dont find money by Sunday to buy a ticket I'll start killing people!!

-:- Beautiful Boy
Ahhh.
Dani <3 Valentine's Day.
Dani <3 Joseph.
Dani <3 You.

Valentines Day - really fancy restaurant then off to a musical. Ragtime. Wonderful. I had the best time. really.
rings and mix Cds. Giant Cookies and shells. Tight Shirts and ties. lots of fun involved. Pictures soon to come. Only a couple.

Art museums suck.

soon to cut my hair. I better cut/dye it this week or I'll just pull it all out.

stomach on the tip of my tongue, eyes ready to overflow.
this feeling comes too often.

when I'm sad,I drink Milk.

(I'm lactose intolerant)

.X.

EVERYONE SHOULD JOIN "THE DANIELE SUX AND SHOULD CHOKE AND DIE CLUB."

ahhh. contentment.

apologies are breaking me.


-------------------------


new hare-dew coming Saturday.

I screw up a lot.

2/27 - Hot Rod Circuit
3/3 - Finch
3/9 - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Gots all my tickets.

Dont every worry

I never Update.. so kill me.
Hot Rod Circuit <3 Andy Jackson is swoonable
Finch sux butt live. Eff .
Tomorrow = Pretty Girls Make Graves.
I miss old friends. Come out to play.
Skool is not good for my life

"Waiting through all your bad, bad days...just to end them with...someone you care about..."

I want to be perfect. Who's gonna stop me? Myself..
It's funny how things work. When you feel like the biggest screw up one minute, then all of a sudden you own the world.
I wish I could fly, Id soar over the oceans everyday.

Its only Wednesday, the weeks go by so slow. I feel fat sometimes and don't want to eat. I eat anyways and feel worse. Being sick sucks.
Mistakes lead to Fixing them...
I am sick of worrying about college, I dont want to go anymore.
Too much school is ill.
That is all.

Today was too weird. I cant even being to tell you.

I have itchy bumps all over my throat. I need a doctor.

i kno exactly where you've been.
doctors are a waste of time and money. I waited over an hour, and they said, "Well, keep doing what youre doing and feel better." What the.. NO. I need medicine not a get well wish. I missed two days of school this week. I'm gonna have a lot of crap to make up. Man oh man. I feel like poop. Joey's ditching his 1 o clock class and coming over to my house to be with his sick girlfriend. He should be here soon. I need closeness when I'm sick.

I want a baked cookie.
HOt Rod Circuit mmmm.

I'm so independent.



------------------------------------
I can't handle everything I go thru.
------------------------------------




Mine + Joey's song...

DieRadioDie - As soon as beauty dies
Gazing, across the room
I'll never forget when I laid my eyes on you
And although I have to admit
I wasn't hoping for this much

My eyes are in prision, now that I've seen you
Time holds me in, distance the key
Next to you is the only place
That Im, Im truly me

I know I don't deserve you
Hope you don't dig that deep
Scratching the Surface only creates scars
Hope you don't dig far

And I don't want, want another girl
Even if I have to wait forever
And please don't forget
Never... say... NEVER!

One life to live
Too short to waste it
Spend all my time thinking of you
How foolish of me to do

You Make Me Happy OH When Skies Are Gray And Gray And Gray

Tomorrow itll be good.
I hate Monday's. I miss Joey most then.
I cry Sundays.
4/11 = Bright Eyes <3
Somebody take me to see Cursive.
Somebody should donate clothes to me. I need new clothes really bad.
Any offers???

Ignorance! AHH i would like to yell at some people. "WAKe Up!" Id say "Are you blind to the facts?"
I hate every person who stands on the street corners with their signs "Love Not War" "No Blood for Oil"
Are you a complete imbecile?! Today I heard a man say,
"I can't believe this country will go start bombing other countries without them having bombed us first."
If I was there, I, a sixteen year old 109lbs little blonde girl would have slapped that 40 year old, overweight, white man. I didn't realize you wanted to get bombed...

I don't know if you've looked into it all as much as you think you have. Do you realize at all what a perverse psycho that Saddam is? Shooting random woman and children on the streets? Raping women and the pushing them off balconies to their death. And yes Iraq has done many things to America.. the news does not tell everything that is going on in the world. They catch spies coming in from Iraq ALL the TIMe!! And its not about innocent people getting killed... Do you realize that bush has told them numerous times to leave their homes and get out of there. America is not out to kill innocent people. I don't know why everyone keeps thinking this. And Saddam has had those weapons after he swore he didnt.. then acts like its no big thing, and yes I do think he's stupid enough to do something crazy. This is not a brand new problem, we've been having problems with that psycho for over 13 years!!

if there was a war and California was being theatened that we are going to be bombed but the leader is warning us to get out, wouldn't you? Or would you just sit back and go on with your daily rountine? thats what most of the people in Iraq are doing. They can leave but theyre not. Obviously we dissagree completely, and I don't feel like arguing, I'm too tired. I really like you, youre one of my favorite LJ posters, so I hope this isnt gonna cause conflict, but I mean nothing you can say about this will change my mind.

ok is it really cute or really gross when you fall asleep hugging you boyfriend and you wake up to find he had drooled on your face? lol

I'm tired.!! I never do homework. silly me.

now she whispers into the mirror.. I broke it
no escuela tomorrow. EXCELLENT But... awkwardness too.

My boyfriend's better then yours!!! waaaaaaah

I have a 69% in chem. WTH! I need just one more point. I need to bring it up within 2 months i think?

dinner and a movie sounds delightful.

I need a new place to host pictures online. They all expire in like a month.. any suggestions?

I need a new cd. i need money. i need some lovin.

I want to hold somebody's hand. mmm

I'm in love!!!!!!! Nobody tell Joey.!!!

Evidence....




Holy Effing hell!!


Barracuda <3 <3 <3


oh yeah, i hate mondays.
that is all.

I'm in love!!!!!!! Nobody tell Joey.!!!

Evidence....




Holy Effing hell!!


Barracuda <3 <3 <3


oh yeah, i hate mondays.
that is all.

You find out something new everyday

Just when I think things are starting to be good, I get slapped in the face. I don't know about things, I don't know what to do about things... I've never had such a deep pain inside my stomach before. Don't tell me everything will be okay, You're not me, you have NO idea! And don't tell me to be happy because as of right now I'm not and I wont be.


"This is where I say I've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better."

I don't want to go to school today. I just want to be left alone and be sad all day. I don't want my friends talking to me and I don't want to smile.

nothing... nothing.
I felt so freaking .. down today that I called my grandma and had her pick me up from school at 12:30, I tried earlier, but she wasn't home.
I came home and crawled in bed way under my covers and went to sleep sweating."everyone watched me waste myself"
I couldn't even smile today. I haven't eaten since lunch time yesterday and I'm a little hungry, but I don't feel like eating. I still have that pain in the pit of my stomach though. It made me cry again today. // It's better it's me then them. I feel so unloved and alone today, I think I might be. There's for evidence to differ. "I've been bleeding well from this old wound, cleaning it with salt, so it will still feel new."

trying to get my mind off things. so freaking bored, I feel like crap. I'm soo. .. like wornout by this. will it end? when?
-------------------------------------------------
The worst part is i feel this horrible and you don't even seem to care.


Name: Daniele
Age: 16.5
Weight: 106 lbs. today
Ethnic Backround: white euro stuff.
Hair: short.
Complexion: good
Glasses/Contacts?perfect vision.
Zodiac: dont care
Location: Cali
Occupation: student
Residence: my house
Personality: usually really funny
Shaven/Beard/Mustache? umm no
Siblings: 3 brothers, 1 sister, and Andrew
Rank: second oldest
Night Owl/Early Bird? I like night,
Pets: cats. and chinchilla
Number of times engaged/married: zip

FAVORITES

Color: vivid green
Meal: Chinese chicken salad
Sandwich: BLT or club
Soup: potato
Meat: hamburger
Recipe: marshmellow
Movie: Willy Wonka. Get Over It. 10 things...
Newspaper: ,...
Comic Strip: ?
Cartoon: fairly odd parents.
Cartoon Character: Gir
Candy: Gummie Bears
Snack: cookies!!! and brownies!!
Season: Summer
City: San Fran.
Ice Cream Flavor: bubble gum
Ice Cream Topping: whipped cream (too bad im lactose intollerant)
Soda: dont drink it.
Animal: otter
Music: indie. emo
Song: a lot
Singer: ben kweller?
Game: battleship maybe.
Subject: photography .. next year
Color Ink: green
Holiday: christmas
Perfume/Colonge: my cotton candy spray
Fruit: mango. + orange.
Vegetable: carrot
Flower: daisy
Store: AE
Outfit: dont care
Poet: dr suese
Author: -----

MISCELLANEOUS

Hobbies: computer. photography
Idea of a Romantic Date: going out
Mama's Boy/Daddy's Girl? neither
Want Children in the Future? 1
Quirks: i should be a comedian
Crayons/Markers/Chalk/Pencil/Ink/Charcoal/Paint? fun
Socks/Barefoot/Slippers? barefoot
Prefer to Have True Love or Good Luck? True Love
Favor Chocolate? no
Favor Peanut Butter? mmmm..
Favor Whipped Cream? i wish i could eat it
Religion: Christianity
Prefer Thunderstorm/Blizzard/Flash Flood/Tornado/Hurricane?lightening?
Prefer to See a Woman with Her Hair Up or Down? dont care
Prefer to See a Man with Long or Short Hair? long. not like.. long.. emo long
Notices First on a Man/Woman: face/ smile/ arms.

HEIGHT: 5'4"
HAIR COLOR: blonde.
SKIN COLOR:very white
EYEBROWS: dark
EYE COLOR: blue
ABOUT EARS: pierced 7 times total.
ABOUT LIPS: i hate them
ABOUT TONGUE: know many tongue tricks... ;]
ABOUT CHIN: its in the right spot
SHOULDERS: boney
MUSCLES: have none
STYLE: i luv button up long sleave shirts. + jeans.
PIERCINGS: 7 in my ears. i want more.
---------------
---Right Now---
---------------
WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: plaid pj pants
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Dashboard - So Beautiful.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: stinky breath
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: its really hot in my room. im sweaty.
HOW ARE YOU?: really lost and alone.
---------------
---Do you...
---------------
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: not really
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: lots probably
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: um yeah i guess
LIKE TO DRIVE?: its kinda boring but i'll do it, i dont mind
---------------
---Favorites---
---------------
TV SHOW: Friends, American Idol, Gilmore Girls, Even Stevens, Match Game
SHAMPOO: Dumb Blonde
CONDITIONER: Dont use it
BOOK: To Kill a Mockingbird.
MAGAZINE: I dont really read them ever.
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: lemonaid
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: watch movies. eat pretzels
BAND OR GROUP: Melee
HANGOUT: Disneyland
FEELING: happy....
DOG BREED: jack Russell!!
-----------------
---Have you...
-----------------
BROKEN THE LAW: most likely
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: almost
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: yeah..
STAYED UP TILL FOUR ON THE PHONE: but of course
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: a couple times when i was young,
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: no. I'd vomit
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yes
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: not once
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: nope
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: all the time.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: a few times in the morning.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yep
CRIED IN PUBLIC: yeah, but i hate it.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: mm hmm

----------
---Love---
----------
BOYFRIEND: yes
GIRLFRIEND: negative
SEXUALITY: straight. very straight
CHILDREN: none, i still am one.
CURRENT CRUSH: ...
BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: once maybe
BEEN OUT WITH SOMEONE: yeah...
TOO SHY?: only around people i dont know
BEEN HURT?: too often..
HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I Love You" AND MEANT IT?: yea
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: too many...
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: David
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: yes,

------------
---Random---
------------
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: not yet
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: DC - The Swiss Army Romance
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?: vivid green. today I'd be dark blue.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: i dont know anymore.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: i want cursive.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Paul.Tasia.Joe.Lauren.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: disneyland
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?: dont care
-------------------------------
---When/what was the last...---
-------------------------------
TIME YOU CRIED?: this afternoon
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: this week from Mary <3
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today
THING YOU PURCHASED: Mac Lipgloss.
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Will + Grace
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind... I think
-------------------------
---Your thoughts on...---
-------------------------
ABORTION: totally against
TEENAGE SMOKING: smoking is so stupid. get a life
PMS: too many girls get it
SPICE GIRLS: old skool
PREMARITAL SEX: bad bad bad
DREAMS: Im a dream waster, mine are all random and pointless.

Another sleepless night. I can not sleep. I can not eat. I'm crying so much that my face is sore. I need a hug so bad right now I can't even express it. A real hug . Why don't I have ANYBODY to talk to??
Nobody's online and i need to talk to somebody, not later, now.
I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm just some stupid pawn in a game.
As I type, I find Myself continuously pressing the backspace key. The things I want to write, the things I feel, I don't want people to read. I don't want people to be worried about me or anything. I cant express myself. I'm just soooooooooo alone!!! I don't know what to do!!!

My whole world is falling apart and i just have to sit here and watch.


"In the blink of an eye, I watch as my soul dies. In only a moment, my heart is shattered to nothing. I have lost everything I am and ever will be forever. Guilt and anguish consume me. I could never make this feeling leave. Tears now my only words. As silence fills the room. I have lost everything I am and ever will be forever. I have lost everything."

the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here
so i finally got some sleep last night. That is.. after I took 5 Benadryl. :x
School started out really bad with my teacher yelling at my and saying how he hates people like me. I almost cried.
But It kinda got better, I just did my best not to think about things and I was all right for the most part.

Although I have not eaten since lunch time on Wednesday.
I have lost over 5 lbs. NOt exactly sure how much, I'll get back to you on the exact number.

Everyone go download this song. Its amazing! Jeez to everyone who used to be pissed cuz I would never post, I'm sure I've posted so much lately you dont even read it all ;]

contentment at last.
Yeah, I cried, but it was needed. To end the pain. And be refreshed. mmmm to smile was wonderful. I ate my first meal today. It had been over 72 hours without eating... But yeah. It was good, but it felt weird, my stomach was "trippin".
I'm tired now. But happy. THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT.

Today consistent of:
Making people laugh (more then usual), Egg Rolls, Smiling, A's, test review, doctors, cookies, and hot weather.

-the doc says my knees are messed up because I have no butt muscles and it makes my knees unbalanced. lol Thats why I hate my butt so much.
-Friday = first ska show in .. a year?
Saturday = Noise Ratchet
-Dani still weighs 104lbs. hmmm. I dont look it though.
Summer is exactly two months away.. so close but so f a r..
-Do you ever feel like you need to dance? hehe. I doooo. only by myself though. eep. WILL NOT dance in public.
-Ive been sitting around in my underwear since I've been home. :x

with Joey till 3am, kissing girls, 81s, apple sauce, fashion shows. oi I wish i had my camera.

when I was sad. I didnt eat. I lost 5lbs in 3 days.

without sucking anything in...

my hips were starting to like poke thru my skin. it was kinda gross.
I'm gaining all my pudge back though. :]
Good thing Dani's happy...


I miss my long hair :( I feel blah.
I need new shoes + i need sunglasses.

I don't sleep enough. I'm tired.
Why do these sites blur my pictures?
.I complain.

Woot. Yay to my favorite Asian (user name:Untytle) getting a LJ. Everyone add him as a friend.

-Somebody should shoot me in the head that way i dont have to go to school tomorrow.



I wanna be selfish.. youre my everything.

AH HAH.

Okay so I think Noise Ratchet is going higher on my fav. bands list. <3 <3
Freaking I got a guitar pick after i had to keep asking the guy. lol. It was fun, evvvveryone was so jealous. :]
Another pick to add to my small collection

Small Pick Collection:
Hot Rod Circuit
Reel Big Fish
The Juliana Theory
Noise Ratchet

Yeah but it was freezing. I kept shivering. And There was dirt everywhere. Oh + all the girls at Joeys skool look at me really weird. It freaks me out.

Today = HOMEWORK. poop on you.
I want a pretzel.
OHHHHHH I got my Dashboard tickets!!! AHHH.
DC at the troubadour? shooooot!! *dances*

I NEED my hour back!! how can I wake up when its still dark??!!
I'm freezing and I'm really tired.. school? woohooo.
*sigh*

ouch!!


Dani is so effing
. !! ;]

I can't wait till summer. I forgot my chem book at skool. BLAST!
It was hott today, I want to go to the beach.
My LJ hates me. Anything else? No.

~!!
Asians who drive you home when left stranded are the best.
Lots of food. mmmm .
Tomorrow = effing BRIGHT EYES!! Shoooott! I'm excited as heck.
Lots of homework. 5 skool days left till spring break.

Paul, you'll enjoy this...

You Attract Pussy Whipped Guys!

You're an independent woman - both emotionally and financially.

And somehow, you seem to attract the guys that worship you freakishly.

Not an entirely bad thing in the bedroom... although outside, it can be trouble.



Most of these Pussy Whipped Guys are looking for a mother figure.

Their sensitivity may be attractive, but watch out!

They are only sensitive when they need something from you...

Never when you need something from them.



Enjoy your Pussy Whipped Guy for the adulation he gives you at first.

Exploit it - make him do you all night.

But once he cries, go in search of a real man.


</a>

don't you hate those days when you feel really ugly?
You just look in the mirror and .. yuck.
I think I hate all beautiful people.
Jealousy!!!!!!!

But why in the eyes of most do you need to have a big bust and be half naked to be beautiful? GUH. thats ill.

Friday: Bright Eyes. Booo. Bright Eyes really did not impress me at all. They played horrible songs And took forever between each song + nobody knew any lyrics to freaking any songs. GAY!

yesterday: went to the beach. had peanutbutter + jelly sandwhiches yum. Realized me + my white boyfriend were burnt as hell. Yeah so now I ache everywhere. I passed out yesterday too. And I woke up at 2 am crying cuz it hurts so bad. :( I'm in throbbing pain everywhere!!!. I hate this.

I want to go out today + do fun stuff but I'm scared of the sun. :( I also want to take lots of pictures but we'll see //

I itch
the Jolly Olly Olly Man. [hurrah for Hey Arnold]

skipped skool yesterday, field trip today, tomorrow out of most classes for pictures, friday no school um hello give me a woot woot. tee-hee. (dani as a black man).

I'm happy. I like being happy. if only it would last.

Q I don't understand why you're always in a bad mood :( Your life seems so good, especially compared to mine... you're really pretty, you have a boyfriend who cares about you and you care about... you have a lot of friends who care about you and who you hang out with a lot... I just don't get it...

A I'm in a good mood. that was the basis of this post.
And theres a lot you dont know.. gawd a LOT!!
My life's not as easy + great as it seems to you.
Youve just read the cover of the book, you don't know what the book is about.  i hope that didnt sound rude by the way, im just saying. i havent had an easy life..

ONe day left till Spring Break~!!
¤Whose boyfriend brings them carebears and gummie bears for no reason? .... mine.
¤My sunburn finally doesn't hurt
¤I want to go to Cursive :(
¤I don't like when my friends are sad
¤Joey's at a Doger game
¤I'm going out to dinner

American Idol for your momma
dude~!!! im so effing glad kimberly caldwel is finally off the show dang sleez.

I voted for Carmen last night.. tee-hee.

I'm too emotionally involved. :x

i dont feel good. i think im going to throw up.

If you go see Anger Management, .. well, just don't~!!
worst movie i ever saw.

Tomorrow I have to wake up at 4:45! Holy Crap.
mm i dont feel good :(

its all the good that wont come out of them.

Easter can be fun. Except when people make you want to cry but you can't because you're around lots of people. That's not fun //
-Cramps are the devil. I feel like poop. I want to die instead of cramps.
Watch a movie with me, I'm just waiting around.. like last summer.
Today it officially starts.. no school. I wish i never had to go back.
I want to play the keyboard. I want to write music. I want to be a person of talent.
I want to move far away. I can't wait.

"I hate how I can make you feel." Most meaningful phrase I've heard in so long spoken to me. My eyes sting from so much crying today. "tears are feelings you cant say" I want to start taking life seriously. I live life as though no consequences will approach me, I regret often. "you say i chose sadness, that it never once has chosen me" I'm afraid that this week might be the death of me. Isn't Spring Break supposed to bring you to life? "its a hard day for breathing again"

A hah. i cry a lot sometimes. i cry a lot alot. lol well sometimes.. anyhow. you cheer me up.
hearts for paul <3 <3 <3

Riding in cars w/bois was a really good movie. i laffed. got an invitation for a modeling pageant in the mail, i'll look into it, sounds fun. win $$$. i ate costco pizza today. mm. feeling fat. I'm sitting here while my boyfriend is asleep in my bed, most likely drooling on my pillow. I want him to wake up. I think I'll go blow in his face soon.



aint that the cutest thing you ever saw?? ♥ ♥ ♥

"joey - who is one of the luckiest guys i know for finding someone like daniele"

who freaking says stuff like that? Umm nobody.

♥ paul

Why are you so gay to me?
There's nothing like being a small blonde girl alone in a car. Blasting X-tina Agulera in the putt putt car. Oddest thing was that I knew the lyrics + was actually singing along. THATS HOT. [black guys were laughing at me too]. I got 2 new shoes. and one reel cute bathing suit. its X-tra small. haha. I was supposed to buy a dress for the wedding. . . oops?


[(bringing old icon back from the dead is sooo boss)]

so bored!!! so bored!!




lol stupid sunburns. such a cute bathing suit on such an odd girl.




new shoes... steve madden = $25 sugar = $9
dani knows how to shop.

so yeah Cursive?? ♥ ♥!!!!

I think I'm in love. so good so hott.
Freaking people at shows blow hardcore.
especially Mean guys Smoking pipes/joints near dani! It aint going to happen. okay #1 inside a venue you just dont #2 after you were total dicks you gotta be kidding. So yes, I went + told security. :x hehe. They came over + kept a close eye on them. I was kinda scared though. Ive never once been to a show ((indoors)) when people were getting high. Thats so lame. DRUGS ARE GAY!

ps making paul uncomfortable is fun + easy. ((ie excessive butt grabbing of your mate))

Stale Taste...
I'm so sick of this. Tell me what I am doing wrong? Every freaking conversation is another wasted breath. Nothing works. Stop apologizing for things you will repeat tomorrow. I don't ask for much. But i can't even get that.
I always wonder what life will be like 10-15 years from now. Where will I be? Will I wake up in bed next to some stranger, or will it be how I suspect, Will i be alone, who will care.
I'm ready to start over. Why can't I?

Spring Break [.End.]
kill me. please.

being cool = exchanging shoes you buy that are too small for shoes that are too big. Buying imitation arnets. Buying the freaking radest dress ever for your boyfriend's cousin's wedding. Buying a bracelet and nail polish. Not going to prom when all your friends are. And listening to the postal service. That is the epitome of being cool.

i never subject these things.
sometimes I get crazy ideas in my head. I wish I wouldn't feel certain ways. Its just odd. hmm. stupid girl.

Tomorrow I don't have school except a couple of classes. Going to ACSI art festival. Hopefully I'll win a HUGE ribbon. x*crosses fingers*x I think today I realized how much i love my friends. They're the coolest ever. I'll post later, I'm done for now.

I hate not being good at anything.
i don't feel good. whatever.

I told you before, never leave dani home alone with her camera. Especially when she bought a dress for the wedding. :x






more coming soon.

I don't like me. [The End]

I never get anything I want. So when is it time to give up?
There's so many things I want I could make a list, but I'd be giving away too much secret information and I'd get in trouble. I hate not getting what I want... ever.

this weekend was non stop the entire time. lots of stuff. umm. SATs can burn in hell. I suck. Umm friends are fun.
stuff . stuff . stuff . :( I'm tired.

solitude?
my tummy hurts. :( I have so much homework. I'm skipping school on Wednesday.. to do school work. 3 day school week. PGMG <3 I'm exhausted today. I need some sleep and a clear conscience. I need to shower. I want to barf. I want to go away to a place where I can be alone. Not having to worry about anything, no plans, no thoughts of anything except relaxation. Just peace of body and mind. *sigh*

so its official. I got a call today. "Congratulations" dani is now a contestant in the modeling pageant. Now I need sponsors? great. hehe.
Skipping school tomorrow to work on a ten page report that my teacher just made due on Thursday. Whatever. I finished page 4 today.
Friday = Knotts Berry Farm.
Next Friday = 6 Flags. How exciting.
I'm really tired,. at least i get to sleep in tomorrow. I have so much work though. I'm actually gonna do it. Go me.

i want I want
today consisted of work. So much. But i feel so accomplished. And I did my nails special. Like tiger stripes. *rawr* I cant wait till Knotts I just want to go run around like a 10 year old with ADD.


I know its not a party if it happens every night.

what dumb luck.
I'm so tired. Today's mothers Day. I haven't seen my mom since.. early February. sux. We watched Titanic today. and got smoothies. and i ate so much food. wore a zebra skirt.

Knotts is fun until people make you not happy. I won a cookie monster too. i love my friends and i love mangos. 4 weeks of school left, not all full weeks. *squeal*

I didn't get to go see Noise Ratchet today. I wanted to :( My tummy hurts. I should eat less. I have no $$ I want $$.

Do your friends : bring you new Cds + posters in the morning on Mondays? Have they mastered Dance Dance Revolution? Do they tell you your clothes are too revealing when theyre not? And do they tell you your hair always looks funny??
If Not, YOUR FRIENDS ARE LAME!!

18 days left of school days. fun. yearbooks on wednesday. and i have to present my 10 page report tomorrow. and collect 250 dollars by Sunday. gun?

i want
"sometimes when I'm alone i think you might have been better off if you never met me. but i love you"

Stuff is hard. I am so tired I need to sleep. But i really need to shave my nasty legs...
I am stressing out so bad lately over everything. I'm breaking out really bad + that leads to being ever so self conscious. love it. When will it freaking end??!! I want to enjoy life to the fullest.

Okay so I was filling out my yearbook staff application for next year and one question was; "What are your future goals" and they leave me three lines?? So I put, "To be successful and get married, design my own home, travel, become a professional photographer.."

I can't wait to get out of high school i mean Ive been going to the same school for 12 years now. I'm ready to move on, I'm ready! I want to travel the world and meet people. I want to live in a different country for a year. I want to move to the East coast. I want to get married outside with lots of daises. I want to adopt a child from a foreign country. I want to start my own business, Maybe start my own magazine. I want to be able to afford things I never could. I want to be the first person in my family to become an accomplishment. I want to make my family so proud that they're jealous. I want to plant a garden for an old lady who can't. I want to jump out of an airplane. I want to do so much. I want to grow up!!! I know I'm ready, I've served my time. But the world wont let me. They think i'm too young and not qualified enough. I cant wait to prove them all wrong.

I write these words with a motherly intuition. . .
I'm tired. One more day of skool then Six Flags on Friday. Lots of tests tomorrow. Tomorrow I have a "meeting" or a dinner meeting thing with this guy I'm gonna be working for this summer. Our yearbooks are so lame. But next year me + Paul will be on yearbook staff and we'll blow them away. Things in general aren't well for me lately, Like everythings against me. It sux actually. Why is school taking so long to end??

I met Porky Pig!!! so rad.

Six Flags was fun fun FUN. Hot and so many hills though. but i luv that place. My legs are sore from all that walking. This morning = yard sale. I made about $130 go me. I freaking love this band!!!! I have a headache, and i want fooood.

Remember Knotts? last friday doi. 2 hott pictures?


♥ Lauren + Tasia.

"Im about as weak + fragile as can be."

CDs I want : Rooney. The New Michelle Branch CD, Hot Hot Hot.
good stuff.

Dashboard is Friday how exciting.!! Umm. Life is boring right now. The End?

I NEED HeLP! i need to make my text boxes to the right instead of right in the middle, Ive been trying for an hour. if you can fix it please tell me. THANK YOU.

hey did you get some? man that is so dumb!
new journal layout for dani. so hott. ♥ michelle. I got the new rooney cd + holy crap. AMAZING. I can't wait to go see them again. -I got my SAT scores back today. :x 940. see I know its not good, but I did better then a lot of people therefore I dont feel too bad. I just need to study a lot for them this summer. Ummm. My chem final is over. I'll be passing the class ranked 12 in my class. How fun. 7.5 days left of school. Effing rad!!!


AHHHH Dashboard last night was freaking amazing. Oh + new Amsterdams opened ♥ !! But freaking Dashboard shows are my favorite. I had the best night in sooo long. I was shouting the songs on the top of my lungs so loud. So much laughing and so much fun and awww I want to go back. more stories I could add but this entry is getting long...

random
Are you satisfied tonight?


yeah well my LJ has been pictureless lately.

faaaaaade into you.
Today:

turned in an application for American Eagle. Ate SO much food. !! Bought: my "casual wear" outfit for the pageant, necklace, earrings. Cried like 3 times. sheesh. But happy. Watched Toy Story. I'm tired.

Goats are neat.

Why does my computer have to freeze in the middle of my posting on LJ. You know, after I finally thought up witty comments to my happenings of the day. Wonderful.
Anyhow-- Last night + Today were super duper fun. yes sir. Saw down with love! great movie!!! I ♥ all my friends! I want to marry them all. And Last night I slept in a bed with two gurls. So Hott!!! Beach Day was Today, that was superb. I was gonna post more pictures but my uploader sux.

I'm so bored. I woke up at 8am and of course everybody's sleeeeping/.. lame/ My personal interview with the judges is today and I'm terrified!! My stomach hurts from it already + its at 410. Tomorrow's the pageant.. Wonderful. Im gonna embarrass myself.
*painting nails*

The interview was good. The judges were super duper cool. I'm real nervous for tomorrow though. I have to wake up around 7. I have a hair appointment at 8. Some gay Asian guy is doing it :] Umm. Yea. HIGH very HIGH heels pray I don't fall. . Such a busy day tomorrow!! Thats all.

-thanx for wishing me luck in my last post Ü

Says shes got it all.. but she just don't!!!
So yeah the pageant was lame. A few trampy chicks made top ten and just blah whatever Im not bitter. But stuck in my head all day ..

Reduce myself, I got the strict restrictions
Not sexy enough without the regulations...
Obsessed with a beauty contest
How my vanity is such a mess
Beauty contest... I'm obsessed

Yes sir. Im glad its over. It was fun though. Odd how losing a beauty pageant makes you feel ugly. On the up side, some modeling agency called me today some auditions are on Wednesday and this ones supposedly free so I think I'll look into it. Finals are this week. 3.5 days left of school. My tummy hurts today.

"so hard she tries to look pretty, bois dont even notice her; though she's in need of attention"

I need to go to a show and dance it up like it's 1999. My best friend makes me feel special. ♥

hAPPY bIRTHDAY pAUL!! ♥

I enjoy making people happy. Especially my favorite people. :] School will officially be over in 1.5 days, Then I'll have my life back + I'll be stress free. I cant wait to have long hair again. My hair = sux. I cant wait till Melee.

I hate studying!!!

I was thinking about weird stuff today. Remembering how over a year ago 3 guys were telling me they loved me. Like Whoa. And reading back in things I've written in my journal (not LJ actual Journal) Just is weird. Very profound at times. I've changed a lot in the last year and a half.
Life's funny how I'm never grateful for what I have. I always wonder what it would be like to live the opposite of my life. the "how it could have been" life. Just to have an option + pick. "being wrong never felt so right"I want to reach perfection and I want to have something to brag about. When I talk i have nothing to impress people with. I need to find my talent. I hope youre as happy as youre pretending".

i eat too much. .5 Day of skool left. 1 final left. People make me wonder if I'm in the right place.

"Just rest your eyes and then you'll be in love again"

I am displaced.
so today was the last day of school. In chapel I was sitting there + so much was going thru my mind. We're seniors now. that means one year left, then we move into a new chapter of our lives. But so I was sitting in chapel remembering when I was a freshman, and How I sorta still feel like a freshmen, I feel so young, yet so old at the same time. The last few weeks i keep saying how I can't wait to graduate and move on with my life. As I sat there i was seeing myself in cap + gown and wondering where my life goes after this.. It'll be so weird to wake up the day after I graduate next year and realize I never have to go back to that school for the rest of my life; I've been going there since kindergarten.. it's all I'm use to. Am I having second thoughts? Or just being profound?

We'll find out if my brother is graduating this week. I REELIE hope he is.. There's so much crap going through my head lately ... and i hate it. I want to go to the beach by myself and lay there staring at the ocean for hours wishing i was on a boat floating across the world. Im always looking for something to fill an empty piece of me. I'm not happy. again. I can't quite express how I feel.. not with words. But I'm so lost and confused, and alone.



if i were a month i would be: August
if i were a day of the week i would be: Tuesday
if i were a time of day i would be: 2:22
if i were a planet i would be: Pluto
if i were a sea animal i would be: otter
if i were a direction i would be: south
if i were a piece of furniture i would be: mirror
if i were a historical figure i would be: gun
if i were a liquid i would be: slime
if i were a stone, i would be: ruby
if i were a tree, i would be: Large
if i were a bird, i would be: a lovebird
if i were a tool, i would be: a nail
if i were a flower/plant, i would be: daisy
if i were a kind of weather, i would be: snow
if i were a mythical creature, i would be: unicorn
if i were a musical instrument, i would be: harp
if i were an animal, i would be: white tiger
if i were a color, i would be: vivid green
if i were an emotion, i would be: lonely
if i were a vegetable, i would be: a carrot
if i were a sound, i would be: a hum
if i were an element, i would be: fire
if i were a car, i would be: fast
if i were a song, i would be: pretty
if i were a movie, i would be directed by: high school students
if i were a book, i would be written by: a little girl
if i were a food, i would be: cookies
if i were a place, i would be: an amusement park
if i were a material, i would be: satin
if i were a taste, i would be: hot
if i were a scent, i would be: cotton candy
if i were a word, i would be: spoon
if i were an object, i would be: bendable
if i were a body part i would be: knees
if i were a facial expression i would be: a smirk
if i were a subject in school i would be: art
if i were a cartoon character i would be: Cinderella
if i were a shape i would be: parallelogram
if i were a number i would be: 241

Today was fun.

Joey woke me up. My breath stunk. Gross.

Played basketball + won. Played mad games of ping pong + beat Andrew!! wooohooo.

Went to the pound. it was sad :( I could've cried. It smelt sooo bad. And stuff??

Yeah well.. Im kinda tired but not really.
I want to get an application for Disneyland.. I think I will. Ooo and i luv my new journal layout. soo HOT

S u m m e r // ok?

today .. went to some modeling interview.. interview #2 tomorrow. Hmm. I thought i lost chinchilla. I cried. But I found her. tomorrow will be boring. Umm. Look at my older brother's prom picture... (ps she asked him.



I love my brother. hehe. ♥

what the workd needs now is love sweet love.
My brother is graduating how exciting. Im so glad!! He's moving back in with us this coming week too. Hopefully thats a good thing.


I never get kissed like that... *sigh*

6 flags = tomorrow. I hope daffy duck is there. I want a new toy.. like a cool one. hmm I could say a lot more but im gonna keep quiet for awhile.

without feeling...
6 Flags is fun even when you only go with 3 other people. I love meeting the characters. so fun. But the anamaniacs ran away from us it was sad to me. And then getting massive cramps at 6 Flags makes me want to cry. 1.5 hours of waiting for the best ride in the park was well worth it. Joey was screaming out of fear + I was laughing like a furby. And Paul thinks every ride is "ok".

My friends make me smile. I'm bored today.

i ate ice-cream today + didnt even get sick. I was happy.

Paul [LJ name: UNTYTLE; add him yup] is the coolest. We had fun today. Went to the show too early so we went to Walmart. There's lots of toys there you know. we played the piano in a book, and hoola hooped, played ball and lots more stuff too.

i brought lots of liquorish(how do you spell that?) into the show. I didn't feel stupid. I had fun too, when I wasn't bored. And everybody looks the same at shows. They're so effing scene. Paul bought be a dinosaur DRD shirt. Hes the best. Paul's also jealous that I'm popular at shows because I know everyone + everyone knows me. And boys are silly when they look at you behind cracks in things.. hah. Oh yeah + Julie for RW New Orleans is still cool. But i didnt talk to her. Im chicken.

Girls in stretchy jeans are annoying. And There was a girl there who looked like Annie kinda and kinda like Shauna.. mixed together. She was pretty cute, but Paul wouldnt hook up with her. Chicken.

Today I realized I like Vanilla Coke. Yes. And I watched a movie. Met Andrews friend Danyel; she seems pretty neat. Chuck E Cheese's was probably the high light of my day. Tomorrow's Vincent's graduation so I'll see my mom.. its been like 4 months. Im sweaty again. I don;t want to go to bed. Why isnt there anybody to talk to... :(

Today was the most awkward day of my life. It was nice to see my mom, siblings and everyone again. Vincent graduated...

It was the first time in my life Id ever seen my mom + dad together + smiling at that. It was so weird for me I didnt know what I should feel..

My brother started crying + I almost cried. Seeing people cry makes me really sad. I cried in the car today. + Now I feel sad. And alone too.

nowhere is where I want to be

freeway pictures are way fun.



Today I finally found Nemo. I almost cried like 3 times. But i was strong. Chuck E Cheese's again. + toilet papering. ♥ Audrey. Hopefully beach tomorrow. I'm tired. I need a new icon huh.

I don't feel good. When you look at somebody in a different light, its odd how different they can seem. I dont know what Im talking about. I think I'm gonna barf. I hope Hollister calls me back? I'm so ghey.

i can taste you on my lips + smell you in my clothes..
Hollister called me .. in fact the guy woke me up. he said "I figure if I'm up everyone should be up." I was okay with that. There's a group interview tomorrow at 4:o0 pm. duh I'll be there.
White Oleander is an amazing movie. Go rent it I'm going to buy it.

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michelle branch tomorrow, word up. I need money to buy it. Im bored. Tomorrow i want to go see derek at the beach. + I want to watch movies. I want to dance all night to the promise ring. I want it to rain + I want to jump in the puddles. mmmm ♥
Im bored.

mmbop is the most profound song Ive ever heard.

Today I beat everyone in bowling. I so rock. and there was a grabber game.. [(you know.. the stuffed animals.. "THE CLAW")] yeah. I won two stuffed animals. I felt so cool.

The group interview was retarded. You have to be 17 to work at Hollister, but when it opens, it'll be one month before I turn 17 so maybe they wont care? He's hiring 30 more people. I really hope I get it.. but who knows. I'm tired.

What are good movies to rent???

chuck E cheese's AGAIN? DUH!!!
so fun. we got toys too. I won lots of tickets.

Pretended to be an elephant. that was fun.

Played board games with Joey, his mom and Andrew.(Andrew's a chicken). Lots of cartoons.

Punch Drunk Love is a weird movie... I don't even know how to explain it, but really.. different.

ps I ♥ food.

why am i awake still? people are waking up soon to start their day.. Im still wide awake. I want to go shopping so bad. And watch movies.. but Id rather not do that alone. *sigh*

And where the heck is paul?

today was ok. we went to balboa island. umm. arcades are fun.
dissappearing ink. toy cars.no movie today?!! yeah but i bought white oleander. And yes I'm jealous cuz paul hung out with Joe + Adam, two kids I miss.
most over used word : duh. ( i love it!)

Andrews a pansy!! I ♥ him, but mostly hitting him with pillows + playing computer games with him.

oh and I want a small dog!! :(

without feeling..
yeah.. today. I watched 4 movies. I'm so.. fun? Yeah it was okay though I love movies, thats all I've been doing so far this summer is watching videos. I just finished The Good Girl.. Thats just one of those movies where when it's over you're like .. "wow, that sucks."



I want to be tall with perfect legs.
I want a perfect tan + long hair.
I want somebody to be proud of me.
I want to find time for the things that matter.
I want to stop waisting my time.
I want to dance under the stars alone.
I want a friend who's a girl who I can talk "girl talk" with.
I want to feel of importance.
I want to stop regrets.
I want to have the right words all the time.
I want to be happy + mean it.
I want to go far away + never come home.

I can't even cry.



" i am displaced"

" i am displaced"

she says.. "You need to get a job. There's a lot of stuff I don't want you to do without with your senior year coming up."
Ok, well I don't get anything anyways, I do without a lot, she doesn't want me to 'do without' so I have to get a job so I can have it? Oh please.

I said, "I dont have to if I don't want to." and she said I do. But i dont.

She's so stupid. Hello I'm freaking looking for jobs to apply to and she knows it!! I'm really picky about working though. I dont want to pick somewhere where I'll be bored. Everyone's annoying me lately.

i think its time for a hiatus.